Big Faith Gets Bigger Results

Ever since we met, my husband has worked in the food and beverage industry.  When we started dating he was the Marketing Manager for a local restaurant and bar and was continually promoted over the years.  The food and beverage industry is one that requires a lot of odd hours and I knew this before we were ever married or had kids (I too worked in the restaurant industry for several years).  I understood the demands of running a restaurant and that he would be away many nights and would always work weekends.  I was okay with this...until we had kids.

In January, my husband was the General Manager of a local restaurant where he worked days, evenings, and weekends.  As a full-time working mom of 2 under 2, I was struggling to keep it together.  Exhaustion doesn't even explain it, and "single mom" was uttered from my lips more times than I would like to admit (I am in no way saying I am a single mom, and I truly have no idea how you singles do it, kudos to you!).  My husband was complacent in his job, so he wasn't looking for other opportunities even when I would beg him to try and find something else (usually after he closed 2 nights in a row during the week, and I had crying babies all around me).  Then it happened, it hit the fan.

It was the end of January and my husband got the flu.  He got a doctor's note for work and then was out for several days (in restaurant industry, there are no sick days, someone has to cover your management shift if you are out).  By Wednesday he was starting to feel better and closed down the restaurant that night and the next night, he was also scheduled to work that Friday night as well, but had the weekend off at least.  And thank goodness, I was "single mommy" to 3 kids that week!  But then, the inevitable text from his boss came Friday afternoon:  You're going to need to work Saturday and Sunday to make up for your missed shifts this week.

My husband texted me at work informing me of the text he'd gotten and how upset he was.  He was so frustrated that time and time again he was working nights and weekends away from his family and was missing out on spending quality time with our boys.  I remember reading his text and hearing the frustration.  I immediately texted back: why don't you just quit.

Wait, what?  Did I just type that?  Am I telling my husband, the bread-winner, to quit his job?  I'm a teacher....in North Carolina....I am POOR!  What am I doing?  (God??)

I started looking at our bank account, and realized between our checking and savings we could survive without his paycheck for a while.

Wait, what?  Why am I looking at this?  (God??)

I printed out our bill calendar, started calculating and realized it really was possible.

I left work as soon as the bell rang, and my husband met me at the door.

"Seriously, just quit.  Here are our statements and bill calendar, we can make it work."

Wait, what?  Are these words really coming out of my mouth? (God??)

Excitement hit!  My husband felt joy!  Then he became uncertain..."You support me doing this?  Just up and quitting my job?"  I really did, I truly believed the timing of his illness and the requirement to work yet another weekend, was a sign from God.  God had been whispering for me to support my husband and help him transition from a stagnant job this whole time. 


My response, "Go into work today and give your notice."  I read his face and knew that this was what he wanted to do, but there was still uncertainty.  He hadn't applied for any jobs, he had nothing out there waiting in the wings.  He asked me to pray with him.  We joined hands and began praying to our Heavenly Father, asking for guidance and for Him to speak to my husband and tell him if this was the right move.  If this is what He was asking of us.  After our prayer, my husband left for work still unsure of what his next step was.  I remember telling him as he walked out the door, "You will have an answer when you pull into your parking spot."

Fifteen minutes later, I got a call.  My husband called to tell me he knew what to do and was walking in to give his notice!  Let the application process begin.

We were blessed that we could still afford childcare which gave my husband the opportunity to apply for jobs full-time and schedule interviews.   He was unemployed for just over a month.  his last day was February 12th and he was offered a job on March 18th.  Fun fact:  This job was the 1st one he had applied for!  Another fun fact:  During the interview, the owner mentioned how he serves in his church and the phrase "family-oriented" was used multiple times.

Since starting his new job, my husband has been praised and appreciated more than in his previous career.  And to top it all off, this job has provided a financial raise that we couldn't have foreseen.

Pause:  I'm not here to brag about money, I'm here to brag about God.  He is the one who provided the guidance, He is the one who provided the finances while we lived on 1 salary, He is the one who is increasing my husband's potential.

We prayed: And He gave us the best answer we could have ever imagined.

My husband is home every night and weekend now.  My husband is serving in our church because he is free on Sundays.  My husband is watching our boys grow and is molding them into godly young men.

If you feel like you're in need of a change, I urge you to pray and ask God for guidance.  He will fulfill all of your needs beyond what you can imagine.

Infertility Journey: You Are Not Alone

A flood of emotions have run through me as this week, National Infertility Awareness Week, comes to a close.  It wasn't that long ago that my husband and I were on the Infertility Journey ourselves.  The journey itself is draining, emotionally, physically, and financially.    Imagine yearning for something your entire life, knowing in your heart that you will become pregnant one day, only to be told that your body isn't capable of creating life.  Sitting through multiple doctor's appointments each week, requesting off work, being poked and prodded regularly, and spending every dime you have to hear the words "you can't conceive naturally".  The journey itself is very lonely.  But I am declaring to those migrating through infertility, "You are not alone". 

God tells us in Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

Infertility is an isolating disease, impacting 1 in 8 couples.  You sit in the waiting room with several other couples, making eye contact, wondering what their diagnosis is, and yet while you're all experiencing the same struggle you feel completely alone.  However, we are not alone in Christ, there is no need to fear infertility.  Each time you walk in that waiting room, Jesus is walking next to you.  He's holding your hand while you get blood taken and have ultrasound after ultrasound.  He's embracing you when you discover you aren't pregnant again or miscarry, and through Him you find the strength to continue going to the doctors and seek treatment.  He is whispering to you, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you" (Isaiah 43:2).

Your hope to carry a child comes from God.  I remember finding indescribable comfort in Psalm 62:5, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him".

About half way through our journey, I remember doubting my dream to be pregnant and thinking "maybe this isn't God's calling on my life, maybe I'm not supposed to carry a child, maybe I'm not even supposed to be a mom."  Then one day, I prayed asking "God I have this yearning, this desire in my heart to have a child.  I want to carry a baby, but Lord I don't know if this is my own selfish desire or if it is Your calling on my life.  Heavenly Father, I am bringing my desire to you, and I am asking you to remove this desire if it is not Your will.  If I am not to conceive or carry a baby, I ask that you remove this desire from my heart and give me peace."  Can I tell you, after I prayed that prayer the desire in my heart only became stronger!  God was reaffirming, "Yes!  My calling on your life is that you will carry a child.  Trust in Me." 

God reminded me then to "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.  Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:3-4).  

Trusting in God is what brought us through so many painful appointments and consultations.  Our story is so different, as is everyone's infertility journey.  For us, we decided to walk away from treatment, stop "trying" and just lean on God.  In just four months we were pregnant, but miscarried; the next month we were pregnant, but miscarried.  At that point the doctor wanted to have a consultation and I remember him saying "Well, you couldn't get pregnant for years and now you've gotten pregnant twice.  We need to figure this out."  I looked at him and boldly told him, "We don't need to figure it out, God is working."  You see, I don't believe that God gave me two babies and took them away, no God does not intentionally hurt us that way, but I do believe he had been healing me (I had Stage 4 Endometriosis).  

After each of those miscarriages I thanked God and I began repeating Psalm 52:9, "I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good.  I will praise you in the presence of your saint." 

That is not to say that we didn't mourn those miscarriages, but instead of focusing on the loss we decided to focus on the gain (getting pregnant).  Only through the strength and peace of God were we able to be thankful. We are reassured in John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world."

In January 2013, we discovered that our miscarriages had lead to a blocked fallopian tube; one more obstacle to overcome.  "And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast" (1 Peter 5:10).  

We didn't seek treatment to unblock my fallopian tube, we sought God.  We prayed, we believed, we quoted scripture, and we took action through tithing.  Spring of 2013 we found ourselves experiencing an incredible amount of peace; a God-given peace.  I wrote several verses on my bathroom mirror and around my office at work.  Matthew 21:22, "And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive" was a go-to verse for me.  We had been praying for four years to be blessed with a child, but had we been believing?  I mean truly, 100%, without a doubt, believing that we would become pregnant?  I don't think we were.  I think there was a little self-doubt for me, each month, when I knew in a few short days I either would or wouldn't be pregnant.  I had doubt, I didn't fully believe.  But when we made the decision to fully trust God, putting all of our faith in Him, that doubt was removed.  In April 2014 we welcomed a healthy, full-term baby boy and in November we will be welcoming another precious child.  Only through Christ Jesus is this even possible.

So I'm asking you: remove the doubt, forget what the doctors have said, rebel against the earthly answers and shout out to God.  He is sitting patiently, waiting for you to call on His name and believe that He will fulfill the desires of your heart. 

I am praying for each and every one of you who is on the infertility journey.  You are not alone.  

Here are some more verses we leaned on during our journey:
Psalm 33:20 "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield."

Psalm 39:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint." 


In Christ,

Sarah

Our Baby Journey

Finally, the cat is out of the bag!  Barrett and I are expecting our first child in April of 2014.  We are beyond excited, in fact I don't think there is a word to describe how ecstatic we are.  After trying to conceive for almost 4 years, this pregnancy is a complete miracle.  I plan to script my pregnancy experience on this blog and I hope that is will serve man purposes:  giving infertile women hope, giving pregnant women a laugh while, and encouraging others to seek Christ when they are in a difficult place.  Welcome to the ADD Pregnant Woman's blog - it's sure to throw you for a loop ;-)

Let's start with the infertility journey.  Like every young couple, Barrett and I were under the impression that our pregnancy would happen quickly and easily.  Boy were we wrong.  After about 6 months of trying, I went to see my Gynecologist because in my heart I knew something was wrong (side note: ALWAYS trust your instincts).  My gyno blew off our efforts and told me that when we had tried for a year and were still not prego then I could come back and she would refer me to a fertility specialist.  I can't explain how angry I was.  My family does not have a history of infertility, the women in my family think about getting pregnant and wake up the next morning with a baby bump.  I knew something was wrong; so I took matters into my own hands.

I called the fertility clinic, Reproductive Endocrinology of Charlotte (aka REACH), and pretended to be my gynecologist's office and referred myself.  When REACH asked for my paper work to be faxed, I then called the gynecologist's office and told them that my information needed to be faxed over, STAT!   So our infertility journey began.

We started with simple testing, and everything came back fine.  The specialist's repsonse, "You should be pregnant and you're not, so we're going to make that happen."  Oh, I could finally see the sun shining again - this doctor wanted to help us conceive a child.  YAY!

So we began bloodwork and based on my hCG levels each month we would have more bloodwork and scheduled intercourse.  After a few months, the specialist decided to do a little digging to find out why my ovulation was off, I was ovulating around day 8 instead of days 12-14.  With more tests they found that I had Stage 4 Endometriosis.  Because of the advanced stage, I was immediately scheduled for a laparoscopic procedure to remove the endometriosis.  This was a procedure that they estimated to take about 30 minutes, as they simply remove the endometriosis with a laser and then close the 4 incisions.  My procedure took over 2 hours.  The endometriosis had spread so much, that it was on my uterus, cervix, stomach, bladder, and bowels.  Additionally, the endometriosis had caused my cervix to be angled backwards and they had to move it.  Needless to say, my recovery which was projected to be 1 day took an entire week.  But we were hopeful after having the endometriosis removed and ready to start fertility treatment.

With the endometriosis removed, it would still continue to grow and affect my ovulation timing as well as the maturation of my eggs.  So the specialist decided to treat the situation this way:
Step 1.  Follistim Injections: A commonly-prescribed fertility drug for women. Given by injection, FSH works by stimulating the ovaries to produce more follicles and thereby, more eggs.  I take this to help produce more eggs so there would be more of a chance of the sperm fertilizing one.
Step 2. Lupron Injections:  Ovulation cannot occur naturally while on Lupron because LH, which triggers ovulation, is suppressed. This prevents a premature surge of the LH before the retrieval, which could cause loss of the cycle.
Step 3. hCG Injection:  One injection given to trigger ovulation.
This is a very expensive treatment cycle and we were spending around $600/month on the injections and doctor's visits. We used this treatment cycle for several months but then stopped because my endometriosis levels were too high again.

I underwent treatment again and we sat down with our specialist who wanted to know whether we wanted to proceed with the same procedures or advance to IVF.  We weighed our options and after sitting with the financer and finding out that our IVF procedure would cost $26,000 we opted to not try it since it's not guaranteed.  We did not want to go through the months and months of injections again, so we told our specialist and his nurse that we would be putting our faith in God.

Eight months later, with no focus on ovulation or hCG levels we conceived naturally thanks to God's love and miraculous healing.  I have only been to the fertility specialist once since finding out we were pregnant, and that was just to "confirm" the pregnancy.  I have not had any levels taken but I truly believe 100% that God has healed my body of endometriosis and that is why we were able to get pregnant on our own without any fertility!

Soooo, now that we are preggers - I will be posting some updates of our Baby Journey!  Here's to a healthy baby and an exciting journey for our family!

Weekly Verse: 8/26

"Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed" (Luke 8:50, NIV) This verse comes from one of my favorite stories in the Bible. This is the story of the father, Jairus, and his daughter who has fallen ill. While Jesus is traveling to heal her, she dies; but he visits the home says these words to the father and then tells the little girl to get up. It is a miracle!

This weekend, while my parents were visiting I suddenly needed some healing. This is what happened:

Friday night, I had some severe back pain. With my history of back problems I figured I had tweaked it so I tried stretching; and when that didn't ease the pain I just went to bed with an ice pack.

Saturday at 4:30 am, I woke up to use the bathroom and the pain from Friday night was back but even more severe! For an hour I wrestled with the pain. Fighting it as best I could. Finally, when I couldn't walk out of the bathroom and fell to the floor, I realized I needed to go to the Emergency Room.

I do NOT like ERs, mainly because I think the cost of going is insanely expensive and I don't like to "waste" money. I will avoid a trip at all costs. But this Saturday, doubled-over in pain and tears streaming down my face I woke Barrett and told him we needed to go to the ER. All of my symptoms were that of a Kidney Infection and I was scared to death.

I have never experienced pain like this before. I couldn't stand up straight, I was sweating through my clothes, and started dry heaving on the way to the hospital. We both were VERY scared.

While holding hands in the car, I began praying out loud. I asked God to use his healing hands to heal my body and take the pain away. Within a minute of praying, I was able to sit up straight and the pain in my right, lower back was beginning to subside. Eight minutes later when we arrived at the hospital, my pain was gone! I looked at Barrett while we were walking inside and told him that I wasn't in pain and could wait to go to Urgent Care (it would open 2 hours later - and be much cheaper).

I ended up with a slight bladder infection and haven't had the pain return. Our God is a healer! If you have an illness or know someone who does, I urge you to not only pray but to have faith! We both believed that God would take care of me and he did!

There's no question - we serve an AMAZING God! <3

Weekly Verse: 8/4

I had a rough morning today...it all started with hitting the snooze button twice causing me to only have 30 minutes to get ready for church. It went downhill from there. I rushed in the shower and as I was getting dressed I realized that my shirt needed to be ironed - something I had absolutely no extra time for. After ironing my shirt, I went to put on make-up. I have never had my make-up do this and I still cannot figure it out. I put the powder on and it turned WHITE; I'm talking clown white! I looked ridiculous. I washed it off and realized I was already leaving late. So I looked at Barrett and asked, "I'm just going to church with no make-up, I don't have time to redo it." (insert grumpy face)

While getting my purse, phone, and keys Barrett asked "Why are you moping? Do you just want to skip church today?" Right then, I knew an attack was coming. The enemy was getting into my head and wanted to do anything he could to keep me from worshiping today. I stood my ground and we headed to the early service, separately, since Barrett had to work this morning. I tried calling Barrett to ask what kind of coffee he wanted, but he didn't answer. I tried two more times with no answer and grew increasingly frustrated. A car cut me off, I grew even more frustrated.

As I pulled onto Salome Ch Rd, I asked God for help. "Lord, I am in a funk. Please wash over me and turn my attitude around."

During worship & tithing, Barrett's co-workers were texting him, and he was texting them back! I was fuming! I thought about scolding him, but decided against it. I am not his mother and this is taking my focus away. After tithing, an additional song was performed, "In Christ Alone." I leaned over to Kendra and said "I LOVE this song!" After the 1st verse, tears came.... When the 3rd verse came and we sang " For I am His and He is mine/Bought with the precious blood of Christ" I stood to my feet, hands raised, tears streaming down my face and felt the love of Christ cover me like a comforting blanket. All frustration, anger, and ill-feelings left me.

My day has completely turned around. I'm having a GREAT day today and it's all because of our Lord and Savior!

This week's verse is about being rooted in our faith:

As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving. (Colossians 2:6-7, NKJV)